Baby number 2 brings drama and happiness

Ollie 2It’s been a week since Ollie, the newest addition to our family, arrived and what a week it has been.

Ollie was delivered just one day shy of reaching 34 weeks gestation and is consequently in the neonatal intensive care unit until he grows and learns to feed. While at 1.75kg he is three times the size of his older brother and 7 weeks older in gestation, his arrival provided more drama than Aidan’s did. Following the delivery, I got very sick and was admitted to intensive care for three days and remained in hospital for five days, leaving Anthony and our families to cope with getting Aidan to and from his appointments and keeping him occupied through several hospital visits to me.

I could have written various versions of this blog post as my feelings towards Ollie and the situation we found ourselves in changed almost hourly. Feeling sick and overwhelmed, and with pregnancy hormones raging, I hit some of my lowest moments as I wondered why we had yet again failed to do anything normally, why I couldn’t just have babies as easily as other people did and why once again we were under such enormous stress.

I was angry at myself for falling into the trap of thinking Ollie’s birth would somehow complete our little family and instead blamed myself for adding to our financial and emotional pressures, not to mention the strain it was putting on our immediate families. I felt guilty towards Aidan as his preparations for school went out the window and fretted about the precious time I was spending away from him. Bonding with a baby I didn’t get to see for two days was impossible and I’ll admit I struggled with my feelings towards Ollie.

A week on, things are looking a little brighter. The constant trips to and from the hospital are exhausting but my feelings towards Ollie have completely changed and I look forward to our feeding sessions twice a day when I get to hold him in my arms. He is coming along in leaps and bounds and is already off all tubes and out of the humidicrib. I’m hoping it will only be a few more weeks before we have him home.

Aidan is embracing being a big brother with gusto and taking everything in his stride, already becoming a little celebrity among Ollie’s neonatal nursing staff and the ladies in the cafeteria. School starts in 5 days and while it wasn’t the start I had wanted, at least I’ll get to be there to wave goodbye and have a cry with all the other kindergarten mums.


10 thoughts on “Baby number 2 brings drama and happiness

  1. Wow you got to near 34 weeks that is a massive achievement you should be very proud of yourself, i know how you feel why oh why cant i have a normal pregnancy for the normal amount of time with all mine being early i know just the feeling, within a few weeks these last weeks will become a distant memory, you have some wonderful family and friends who i am sure will do all they can to help, take all the help you can get.

    • Yes 34 weeks is better than 26 but 37 would have been better. I can’t help but beat myself up over it but thankfully time is flying and it has already been 2 weeks since Ollie’s birth. Hopefully we only have a few more days until he is home with us and we can start the next part of our journey.

  2. At least the worst of the “abnormal” stuff of the pregnancy and birth is nearly over for you now. In no time at all Ollie will be home and you’ll be up feeding in the middle of the night and getting up early to pack Aidan’s lunch and extracting smelly uneaten bananas out of his bag at the end of his day. It takes time to fall in love with a new baby, like it does with anyone who comes into our lives…but both of your boys are so lucky to have landed in the family they have xx

    • Thanks Liz for your support and understanding through this pregnancy. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one that pregnancy doesn’t agree with. I’m already throwing out uneaten lunches and struggling with the morning routine but it’s nice to feel like a ‘normal’ mum for a change.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s