2014 brings another bump in the road

20131229_165819Well 2014 certainly hasn’t started the way we hoped, with a hospital admission for me and three trips to hospital for Aidan.

I had held high hopes for this year with Aidan starting school and the prospect of a new baby making us a stronger family unit, but my body seems to have other ideas. On December 27, I was admitted to hospital with hypertension, or high blood pressure. The day had already started badly with Aidan’s feeding tube blocking at 4am which consequently required a trip to the emergency department at 7am.

My hypertension could have been the result of Aidan’s numerous medical issues in the week leading up to Christmas but in all likelihood the rise was bound to happen as I progressed further into my pregnancy. As many of you know, Anthony and I agonised over the decision to have another baby. We knew there would be risks given my previous history but were confident they were risks and not certainties. Many women with preeclampsia have gone on to have healthy pregnancies and I hoped that I would be one of them.  However, as doctors set about giving me steroids, we were suddenly faced with the prospect of another premature baby.

The hardest thing about my hospital was admission was that at the same time the doctors were finding me a bed, Anthony was at work and Aidan was getting his feeding tube replaced at another hospital 30 minutes away.  With neither of us there to advocate for Aidan, the feeding tube replacement didn’t go to plan. I was left trying to resolve the issues from my hospital bed while Anthony raced to and from Aidan’s hospital trying to find a way to fix it. It was not the first time during this pregnancy I had chosen Ollie over Aidan and it broke my heart. And when Aidan cried his heart out at leaving me for yet another night, I really regretted falling in pregnant in the first place and then immediately regretted my feelings towards my unborn baby. To say I was emotional is an understatement.

Thankfully the doctors have given me leave from hospital. However, with visits three days a week and a requirement to rest, the prospect of me continuing to work is questionable. I can’t bear to think of the financial strain this will put on us.  There are of course plenty of ways the situation could be worse but for the moment it’s hard to think clearly when you have no idea what the next few days hold. My resolve to keep going has been worn down by this latest bump in our lives. My plans for a normal pregnancy have been shattered and it feels that once again God has forsaken us. Life has thrown another curve ball at us and this time I’m struggling to catch it.


7 thoughts on “2014 brings another bump in the road

  1. Hang in there and rest as much as possible as hard as i know that is do what you can to rest and put your feet up, as much as you have going on you need to think of your unborn baby as well and dont feel guilty for doing so how much longer do you have till her is due?

    • Thanks Mel. I am trying to rest but I also have so much to do before Ollie arrives. I’m 32 weeks today and hoping for at least another 2 weeks, if not longer, before he comes.

      • Thats wonderful, just watch your blood pressure, and if u think something is off go and see about it straight away and try see your neonatal doctor, if you are at westmead the doc there is great. Doesnt say much but is a wealth of information once he starts talking and really knows his stuff, between him and the westmead nicu they saved our 24 weeker who is a very healthy near 3yr old which is one hell of a miracle and the longer you can keep him in the better and the shorter time you both stay in hospital

  2. Thinking of you hon. Aim for that next milestone of 34 weeks when Bubs will have that sucking reflex but just remember (as you know well) any day in the womb is a bonus and you have done so fantastic getting this far, especially with all you have going on in your life. Do they have you on Blood thinners?? My OB called it his miracle drug (I was on it from 4 weeks). Lets hope the rest of your pregnancy is uneventful and that your health is well and Aidan’s is well too. xo

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