Mother’s Day: a rollercoaster of emotions

MotherEarlier this week, I drafted the post below.

“This weekend is Mother’s Day in Australia and like all other major holidays, I am starting to feel anxious.

Instead of being excited about the day, I feel overwhelmed with fear and sadness. What if this is my last Mother’s Day? What if it falls short of the ‘ideal’ Mother’s Day you see on TV? You know the ones where the children (in my case child) run into the bedroom with breakfast and a beautiful, but horribly made, card from preschool or day care.

So here I am, instead of revelling in the opportunity to be a mother and to have my son with me by my side, I’m throwing my own little pity party.

Don’t worry about wanting to slap me out because I want to slap myself out. The same thing happens at Christmas and Easter and it’s ridiculous really. I mean, I know it is, but I just can’t shake the feeling. I tell myself to think of the millions of woman who can’t have children, the ones who for many reasons can’t see their children on Mother’s Day and the ones who have lost a child and I feel so immensely guilty. Who am I to feel sorry for myself?

If I put my rational thinking cap on I would realise that the last 2 Christmases, the Easter just gone and the last year’s Mother’s Day were among the best days of my life. So why do I do this to myself?”

Then I met up with a friend who reminded me of how lucky I am to have my boy with me. Even if my Mother’s Day will involve getting up to make medications while struggling to get Aidan out of bed, it’s better than the alternative. It was the slap in the face I needed.

As Mother’s Day draws near, I am pleased to say that I am actually looking forward to the day (present head-cold excluded). I was going to bin the previous post but it is a good example of the constant battle I have with my brain in trying to come to terms with Aidan’s fragile existence.

To all mothers out there, I wish you a wonderful day on Sunday, I know that no matter what the day brings, I will.


3 thoughts on “Mother’s Day: a rollercoaster of emotions

  1. Happy Mothers day Kylie. I hope it is a beautiful day filled with magical memories that will last you a life time. You are an amazing mum and you deserve to be celebrated x

  2. To one of the greatest Mothers I know,
    You’re allowed to have your ‘pity party’- if anyone tells you otherwise, I’ll get onto them.
    I could never imagine how you feel but I do know that you amaze me with everything that you do.
    Aidan is the luckiest lil boy to have such a devoted & loving mother, who always puts herself last to ensure her lil man gets everything he needs to be as comfortable as possible..
    You know I love you with all my heart & would give my life to ensure Aidan was healthy…
    I wish you the happiest of Mother’s Days and I hope there are many more to come!
    Jo xoxo

  3. Thanks for the wonderful Mother’s Day messages. I got a lovely calendar from preschool. Unfortunately, I am feeling a little under the weather but my boy always manages to put a smile on my face.

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