Most successful blog posts seem to start with a top 5 or top 10 list…. Five ways to sell your home sooner, Ten best dating tips, Five must have fashion items, etc, etc
Well here is mine… ten things never to say to a parent of a terminally ill child…
- God never gives anyone more than they can handle… ummm have you seen me lately??? Clearly, I’m not handling this!
- Everything happens for a reason… this may well be true but right now that doesn’t help me sleep at night or make hospital stays any more fun.
- I don’t know how you do it… any parent of a sick, special needs child or really every other exhausted parent will tell you they just do it because they love their child and basically, no one else will.
- Miracles happen… yes they do but not all the time and not to everyone. Chances are there won’t be a miraculous cure.
- But look how happy he is… what? Happy people can’t die?
- Any one of us could die tomorrow… again very true but you aren’t spending your life attached to a machine and in and out of hospital. It’s highly unlikely you will die tomorrow.
- Surely there must be a cure…. If there was, don’t you think we would have used it. Modern science can only come so far.
- No matter what happens, it’s God’s will…this is your belief not mine and it doesn’t make me feel happier about the situation.
- At least you’ve had him this long…he has surpassed the initial prognosis but really? It would still be a tragedy if he died at age 50. This is really unhelpful.
- Maybe it’s just better if he died now… better for whom? Him? Me? You? He’s not suffering and right now if he wants to keep living then I’m going to move heaven and hell to make that happen.
There are generally two reasons why these lines are regularly thrown into conversations – because the person doesn’t know what else to say or because they genuinely believe these statements to be true. It’s mostly strangers and I know their heart is in the right place. I get it, I too have been in these awkward situations when I don’t know what to say but these statements are neither helpful nor comforting so please just don’t
What are the most annoying statements you’ve heard?